Saturday, September 11, 2010

Mateus number 1

PAu000105578 / 1979-05-14
Date of Creation:1979
Title: "Mateus" number 1.
Application Title:Did you ever know anyone who didn't like Mateus?
Mateus number 1--1979.
Description:1 p.
Copyright Claimant: No Soap Radio, Ltd.
Authorship on Application: No Soap Radio, Ltd., employer for hire of Dan Aron (lyrics) & Bryan Wells (music)
Names:Dan Aron Bryan Wells

Dear Writer and Composer of the 1979 Mateus 1 Commercial,


This jingle has been bouncing around in my mind for over thirty years. I have had to contend with its incredibly tenacious, sticky saccharine surface clinging to my neural network like honey on wool for the majority of my life thus far. I attribute this unfortunate affliction to my own unconscious, and to chance, and to your manifest brilliance at the craft you practice. To manage, I've had to improvise a system for modifying the obsessive repetitions of the jingle so that they amuse me enough to assuage the frustration of the jingle's refusal to stop visiting every 10 or 20 hours, or minutes, whatever. I sing it, I syncopate around it, modulate & sing it in different keys, harmonize, etc. I call it "THE 'TEUS" and translate the jingle into other dialects & riff on it:
Didja ever spoze / any fool / to be like: / eff the 'Teus?
Can't you even quit / fronting like / you don't go / 'ssage the 'Teus?
Won't you be like yo / what is up / with people / on the 'Teus?
...and so forth.
I'm sorry this fan letter has to be so ambivalent, but I want to convey to you the general quantity of mental space I have unwillingly squandered on this incredibly effective little phonemic zipper of yours. So, once again: it's a great jingle, and I'd vote for it in the hall of whatever they have for that.

Yours in the 'Teus,

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1 comment:

  1. Do they still make that stuff? If so, one bottle would probably cure you. I mean, hopefully it will kill those particular brain cells.


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