Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Bestsellers in the Making...

Sometimes I wonder about my writing life thus far. I've written three books, but I've never started from the right end and asked, what might sell well? I've never asked in advance, at the outset, "What can I write that will answer to what other people need to read right now?" Maybe I should. In the meantime, here are a few book ideas that I consider non-starters:

Gertrude Stein Celebrates the Integers
Most of My Fans Get Smallpox
Getting the Love You Want and Then Ruining It
Dick Van Patten’s Headcheese Cookbook
Raising Hemophiliac Bunnies the Easy Way
The DaVinci Code: Vowels-Only Edition
Prince Charming’s Prolapse Teaches Chess
Tonight, Accountancy: Tomorrow, Accountancy
Casper the Friendly Ghost Just Ate My Fingers
Aimless Celibacy For Everyone!
Kicking the Air Habit
The Gentle Art of Cockroach Massage
Let’s Circumcise the Grizzly Bears
90 Degree Angles Galore
Persistent Vegetative State for Dummies
Why You Should Do Coke All the Time
How to Swallow the Leprous Toad that is Your Fate
Your Mere Knowledge of This Title Constitutes My Mastery Over You
For the Love of Socks


  1. Funny Fart Noises for Dummies

    uh, actually that might sell..

  2. 10,000 Digits of Pi - Hexadecimal Edition!

  3. I would actually purchase & read these:

    Getting the Love You Want and Then Ruining It
    Tonight, Accountancy: Tomorrow, Accountancy


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