Monday, January 26, 2009

The Word Each Sort of Person Hates Most

These are words used in ignorance by people who are not familiar with the world of the person to whom they're speaking. The person on the left is the representative of a vocation; the utterance on the right is a common remark made by well-intentioned people to such a person, having no idea how their word or phrase (in capital letters) rankles and infuriates.

Opera Singer: I usually don't listen to opera because it's so SHRILL, but you were good.

Chef: I found your food delicious; it was RICH.

Professor: Are you the TEACHER?

Saleperson: Ok, I'll listen for a minute. What's your PITCH?

Painter: Great show! I love your ILLUSTRATIONS.

Historian: Your evidence is surprisingly solid; still, I don't believe in CONSPIRACY.

Atheist: I respect the fact that you don't BELIEVE in God.

Jew: Jesus' messiahship is prophesied in the OLD TESTAMENT.

African American progressive: It's too bad there's so much BLACK ON BLACK crime.

Global Warming activist: I, too, am concerned about CLIMATE CHANGE.

Adjunct Professor: Here's a perk: there's a separate bathroom for PART TIME faculty.

Faculty: EMPLOYEE parking is in Lot 7.

Physicist: Everything is made of VIBRATIONS, and because of quantum theory, there's this LAW of ATTRACTION, and if you wish hard enough you can materialize a Kawasaki Jet-Ski.

Suggest your own...


  1. Economist: I know it looks like we're just stealing the wealth of future generations and giving it back to the people who got us in this mess but it's actually a STIMULUS that will benefit the entire population. By the way, I just don't know quite what you mean by pump and dump. It's not in my lexicon exactly.

  2. That's an example where the term (stimulus) is one the profession (economist) loves to use; I was writing about terms the professions hate to hear.


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